Posts Tagged "Native Americans"

Why Do You Even Want a Book?

Writing students seem to have a common obsession, getting a book with their name on it.  I had a friend in undergrad who would always talk about how she just wanted a book.  One book and she would be happy.  She disregarded all criticism and fired all of her editors, because she felt they were getting in the way of her dream by telling her to slow down.  Now she has the book, a novel.  It’s available to buy now.  I would link it, but it’s the worst book I have ever read, and I can say that without hyperbole.   After the novel came out the head of the fiction department at her MFA said that this book might ruin her career as a writer.  She was so driven by her goal of getting a book out that she ignored any reason why she wanted a book to begin with.

"This is my book, and people are going to read it...by the Christmas shopping season, regardless of how many more edits you think it needs!"

“This is my book, and people are going to read it…by the Christmas shopping season, regardless of how many more edits you think it needs!”

Asking someone why they want a book seems almost too obvious to answer, yet after they actually think about the question, they realize it’s actually much tougher than they thought.  The answers I’ve mostly gotten were desires for attention, celebrity, money, etc.  Of course, keep in mind nobody actually gives up these answers so easily or in so many words.  Everyone’s like a contestant on “The Bachelorette,” even if they’re not playing “for the right reasons” they’ve all learned how to talk like they are.  And no self-respecting writer readily thinks of themselves as a hack.

If anything I’m surprised how many people are willing to admit that they write as a means to get a book, and the book is the means to money, attention, fame, validation, whatever else they are looking for instead of the book.  It’s a dangerous question: “Why do you want a book?” because it calls into question why you’re devoting your life to something.  It’s a scary idea to think that you have no fucking clue, and believe me, many people don’t.

"I'm not on 'The Bachelorette' to find love.  I'm mostly just publicizing my website.  Getting physical with a hot white girl is just a bonus."

“I’m not on ‘The Bachelorette’ to find love. I’m mostly just publicizing my website. Getting physical with a hot white girl is just a bonus.”

And so you see students who will write anything to increase their publications.  I’ve been lectured by a writer about how it’s about the quantity and speed of publications and not the quality of the writing.  I had another writer go on for days about how Native American literature was the new trend in writing (apparently) and how she wished she was Native American so she could get the book deal (This isn’t just a willingness to compromise self-expression, but the entirety one’s self!)  I heard about a student, without any fight, agree to his thesis adviser’s recommendation that he write genre fiction.  That student admitted a hatred for genre fiction and a want to do a literary novel, but the adviser had a connection to a publisher.  So he agreed so he could get the book.  When he told me this story, he wanted me to pity him for having such a terrible thesis adviser, but I was just filled with contempt.  If his own vision wasn’t something he could stand up for, then why should I care when it’s taken away?

"So I can't adopt your culture for financial gain?"

“So I can’t adopt your culture for financial gain?”

I know the writing field is not as much of a meritocracy as it should be.  I think all arts are corrupt in that way and probably always have been.  So I won’t say that these people are going to fail, but what I am saying is that I don’t think these people will be proud of themselves in the end.  There’s a difference between an artist and a content creator.  The difference is that an artist owns their vision and manifests it, while a content creator manufactures a product.  Maybe it’s just me projecting myself onto others, but I couldn’t be happy as a content creator.

I’ve never made a compromise with my editors or instructors that I didn’t agree with, that I didn’t feel still captured myself, my vision, my writing.  I think the rarest and best answer is, “I want a book, because I write.”  I want to share my stories with other people.  The book is a venue for that.  That’s why I want to be published, to serve my ideas.  I see a book as a service for my stories;  I don’t see my stories as a means to a book.

When I publish a book I want to be proud of what I wrote, not that I caught the market at the right time.  I'm a writer, not a god damned real estate agent.

When I publish a book I want to be proud of what I wrote, not that I caught the market at the right time. I’m a writer, not a god damned real estate agent.

Then again, I’ve been spit on and dismissed as a writer, a theorist, and an editor so many times during my career as a student that I’ve developed a pretty mean chip on my shoulder.  I know if you dissected me enough you would find vanity and validation motivating why I want a book, underneath the desire of serving my ideas.  Maybe I’m also a Bachelorette contestant, here for the wrong reasons, but I’ve learned to talk the talk so well that I’ve tricked myself into believing my own fairy tales.

"I've never seen writing like yours before.  Now if that sounded like a compliment, let me disambiguate, there's no market for you.  Who you are is someone nobody is interested in.  Become someone else or you will fail."

“I’ve never seen writing like yours before. Now if that sounded like a compliment, let me disambiguate, there’s no market for you. Who you are is someone nobody is interested in. Become someone else or you will fail.”

"I'd rather try and fail as myself than to 'be smart' and succeed as someone else.  An attempt, I owe that little to myself and my vision.  What will your definition of success bring me when I'm old and wondering what it is I've done with my life?  Besides, I'm a damn good writer.  I dominate the audience at readings and have little trouble getting published.  I'm working out just fine as a humor writer, thank you."

“I’d rather try and fail as myself than ‘be smart’ and succeed as someone else. An attempt, I owe that little to myself and my dreams. What will your definition of success bring me when I’m old and wondering what it is I’ve done with my life? Am I going to wonder what would have happened if I only had more courage when I was younger? Besides, I’m a damn good writer. I dominate the audience at readings and have little trouble getting published. I’m working out just fine as a humor writer, so thank you for your concern.”

"You? A humor writer?  That's funny because your writing makes me laugh...wait.  I mean your writing is a joke.  There much better."

“You? A humor writer? That’s funny, because your writing makes me laugh…wait. I mean your writing is a joke. There, much better. Good self-edit.”

Who knows?  I never put much thought into this question until I started my master’s program, which has a (sub)culture of among the students of being more interested in learning how to be a successful writer than in learning how to write (as if the two have nothing to do with each other).  Considering my program is called a Masters of Professional Writing instead of a Masters of Fine Arts, this really should have been no surprise.  I just wish someone would have told me earlier.  I’m kind of lonely here, and I’m becoming angrier the longer I stay here.  I’m having a harder time not just shouting “If you don’t have any fucking passion for writing, maybe you shouldn’t be getting a masters degree in it!  Clear the bookshelves for people who care!  Your life is too short to do something you don’t love!  Maybe writing isn’t what your cutie mark is telling you.”
Note: I don’t know if this is a majority of people in my program or just a vocal minority, but it’s draining me just the same, and I want it to change.

Now, I’m not saying to give up if you’re not very good or not very successful.  We all start off with varying degrees of bad writing.  We have to work our way up.  Writing well is something you can learn with focused study, right reason, time, and practice.  I would never tell someone to give up on something they’re passionate about (#ratatouille).  What I’m saying is if you don’t have passion for what you do, regardless of what you’re doing, you owe it to yourself as a mortal creature to be honest with yourself about it and not waste your life on it.

Maybe I’m the not the unheeded prophet, maybe I’m just wrong, naive, & idealistic.  But I spent several weeks showing people how to SELL their creative works on Kickstarter.  It’s not like my head is completely in the clouds and not grounded by captialism reality…right?

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